Tuesday, July 20, 2010

PUTTING COMEDY ASIDE, THAT'S NO BULL



This blog is a comedy blog, but that's not what I wanna do today..

7 years ago today, I lost my dad ( DANIEL "BULLWHIP" JOHNSON)to cirrhosis of the liver.


My dad was a professional wrestler in the WWF and all other Canadian outfits, (CCW,ACW,ICW).



He was one of the toughest, strongest, but also nicest, kindest, and most gentle people in the entire world.

My dad had the opportunity to travel the world, he lived in Trinidad, Montreal, and California.

He wrestled in Japan and even went bowling with SAMMY DAVIS JR.


He was inducted into the Canadian Wrestling Hall of fame



Every day I remember my dad in a different way. He inspires my life as an actor, my life as worker, as a son, as a brother, as a person on this planet

If I can achieve 1/10 of what he did in his life, my life would be a success.



This article is not a poor me article, its a message........

I don't care what the situation is, if your dad in your life, cherish him, call him, hug him, appreciate him every day, because some day he wont.......On the other hand, if your dad isn't in your life, you're not alone.






theBULL



Monday, July 19, 2010

EH FUCK A YOU!



Sometimes when I'm walking through Salfleet Soccer fields, or through Fortino's Supermarket's meat section, I hear arguments. Sometimes I wonder what they are saying.....

Sometimes it's just fun to watch

FORZA ITALIA




theBULL

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

BRING IT ON...................BRO?



When I was in grade 9, I made the mistake of telling my Drama teacher that I had taken breakdancing and tap dancing lessons, and competed............she told the cheer leading coach........she later stopped me in the hall to try to blackmail me into being on the team

I refused




Thank God I did..................................









Monday, July 12, 2010

THERES NO E IN THE WORD OLD



There comes a point in every mans life where he just becomes too old to do e..............


People stop laughing with you, and start laughing at you.





theBULL

GO GET SOME.................DOG

I was sitting here trying to think of clever quips and sexual jokes about this one, but I worked all day and I don't have the energy...............



This Video is perfect, this dog is doing what every man (including me) wants on a Saturday night after the bar


Enjoy




theBULL


p.s. oh THIS is why those dogs have flat faces!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

"THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AMERICANS AND CANADIANS IS, AMERICANS HAVE TO DECIDE TO DRINK SATURDAY OR SUNDAY" - Terry Cahill


I've been working construction this week with the most Canadian guys ever........
Stand up, do anything for anyone type of guys with hearts of gold........but whenever i shoot the shit with them I cant help but think of the following video...


The first time I saw this video I was pretty young, first discovering the internet, and internet porn........... Shane's world is a low budget porn site out of California..........for some reason the production team was in St. Thomas Ontario of all places................... they have a run in with some hick/Giant Tiger T-shirt Wearing/Alberta Premium Whiskey with RC Cola Drinking Canadians.


Don't get me wrong I am a proud Canadian, and I wore a t-shirt that I got a Giant Tiger tonight, but I just hate that whenever I see a Canadian on American TV, its the most fucking redneck coal miner from Sudbury or lobster-men from P.E.I!...............But I guess the reverse is true, whenever an American is on Canadian TV, it's the dumbest fucking loser/idiot/arrogant/prick.......like that one guy...............................uhmmm.....oh wait all of them.......



theBULL

I NEED MORE BLACK FRIENDS

The title really says it all.............


Curb your Enthusiasm is probably my favorite show, Larry David is God, and J.B Smoove (Leon) is Jesus

Which makes these clips even better is the fact that they are all improvised




theBULL

KATY PERRY MAKES A TOUR STOP IN KIEV, UKRAINE!

The Ukraine is known for many things........ Goulash, the Nuclear Disaster Chernobyl.........and that's about it........


The Ukranian are a simple folk.................but once Katy Perry made her tour stop in the Capitol of Kiev it turned this mild mannered, nuclear reactive people into HARD CORE XXX PARTY PEOPLE.....


They've made their ways onto a local television, and if this erratic behavior keeps up only god can help us!



DA OFFICE

You take a pinch of office and a dash of Wezzzzzzzzzzy and you get a fire track...........................just goes to show that anything that Wayne touches turns into gold


theBULL

p.s I wonder if Wayne likes the office? Well even if he just started watching it, he's got some time on his hands. Someone get him the box sets he'll catch right up!

LIL B GETS CLAPPED


Alright story goes rapper "LIL B" was on the set of a up an coming music video....When this Carlton lookin' bitch comes in for an interview.

............but aparently the only question he had planned out was "what did the five knuckles say to the grillz...........SUCKA PUNCH"

Ok sooooooooo it was a pretty bitch shot, but that doesn't deny the fact that its fuckin' HIIIIlarious.

I give bonus points to the interviewer "NICO" for dressing like Tiger Woods. Maybe Lil B thought that because he wasn't a whore, that he wasnt gunna get fucked by T-WOODS............he was wrong........

B takes like 5 rapid fires to the dome, then stands up like an idiot only to get sat right back down
via a huge right hook.


I guess you ain't such a "PRETTY BOY" anymore......




theBULL

SPIRITS HAVE SPIRIT


Summer has just started, and there have been a lot of huge new music releases, ie. Deftones, Minus the Bear, Circa Survive, and Wintersleep. I have been fans of these bands for years yet I've barely heard any of their new shit........Why?.......because I can stop listening to Hamilton band "SPIRITS"





Spirits is one of those bands that you can listen to at any time and it will make you feel good. On one of those mornings you wake up and all you can taste is jagger and some whores lip gloss, you throw on some Spirits and your ready to "give'r" all over again.

I remember the first time I saw Spirits was at the place I usually drink all the Jagger and try out lip gloss de la whore......."ABSINTHE" in downtown Hamilton. I walked in lookin' feelin' smellin' like a million bucks, creepin and fist pumpin like a champ.

I'm skulkin around downstairs, and I can hear this music Upstairs, "SPIRITS" had just started their set. Long story short, I ended up staying the whole set and lovin' every second of it.
The only problem was there was only about 20 other people watching.

Spirits is a band that should be playing to sold out audiences. I can't even count the amount fuckin kife bands out there that are playing to packed houses, when actual GOOD/DESERVING
bands like Spirits are playing shows in places like Port Elgin, Ontario.

Dont get me wrong, spirits have played some big shows, opening for bands like The Ting Tings, The Psychedelic Furs, Happy Mondays and playing shows in South African with band The Parlatones.


My only hope is you read this article, watch the videos, hear the music, and whore this band out like they deserve to be whore'd, just like the whore I'll probably find in hess tonight...........







theBULL

Theres a lot to listen to when hear a good song. The beat, the lyrics, the hooks, all kinds of shit! But take a moment, sit down, and listen to the lyrics (should I call it lyrics or is that too white of a term) anyways, just listen...........



Somethings come to mind:

A) Was he on drugs? (Most likely yes, but what kind and how much?)

B) Was he sexually molested as a young man?

C) Has he had a long term relationship, and has she heard this song?



Don't get me wrong, necro is dece, but fuck I already showered twice today, I don't wanna get dried out on these hot summer days


theBULL




Youtube has become a place for people to bitch and moan about how life is a struggle.....At first I thought this was going to be the case with this video.

I know there are a lot black guys out there who talk about how being black is a struggle. I also know that there is a lot of gay guys(not that theres anything wrong with that) out there that think life isn't fair........This young man is of both of those categories and he don't give a fuck.

Mother fucker cares more about birds and DVD covers and all kinds of gangster ass shit.

See being a white kid from the burbs in Canada I've naturally been taught to be afraid of black guys, but then I ended up becoming close friends with a Jane/Finch gangster and he's not scary at all. But what is more scary is someone who speaks his/her mind, and clearly this guy has no problem doing that.

I feel like if I fucked up and do something wrong in front of him he would not only go crazy on me as a person, but also on what I'm wearing.

The more and more I watched the video I stopped laughing and started agreeing with him. I found my self saying like "ohhh man I hate that to", "I knowwwwwwwwww" and "ya FUCK birds man"

I think hes the most influential gay black man since Miss Jay on Americas Next Top Model.....................i MEAN...uhmm I don't watch that show....


theBULL